Last band concert!

As if Tanner's field trip wasn't enough for this sappy Mom, I had to see Madison's last band concert the same day.  She's elected to get out of band (sniff, sniff), and head into art and journalism instead.  I can't say that I'm surprised--the girl does love art, but I am sad to see her leave the world of band.  It's a geeky world, but a good one.  Next year she'll attack her new classes as an 8th grader--the same age I was when we moved to Decatur.  So many times I still feel like that person, and I can't believe my own daughter is that old.  My little leafy twig--growing up so fast.

Ding Dong the Strbans were here!! (AND Sean and Carter too!)

Natalie, Chad, and their oh so sweet girls left us this afternoon after spending a wonderful weekend just hanging on the back porch catching up on life, and catching a breath from life.  :)  They drove in late Friday night, and while we waited for them to get here, we spent some great bonding time with Sean and Carter-in from California for the week.  How blessed could I get in one week?  It was JUST what I needed after a week of sleepless nights thinking and administering the TAKS-(not going there just yet, but I have thoughts...soon,)

As we sat with Sean on the back porch we told a few Natalie stories, specifically her love of shrimp fajitas and ding dongs-incidentally, that GIANT ding dong in the picture above?  She brought that.  Plus?  I bought Ding Dongs in her honor.  We are THAT connected.  :)  When Carter got in, we tried to rally, but after drinking all the wine in Wise County, we turned into pumpkins before they arrived....with promises to rally the next night!

Saturday morning we drank coffee, watched the kids play, and just sat together telling stories-old, new, and dreams for the future.  It's awesome when you can hang with people in your pjs for most of the day and neither person 1) notices or 2) cares.  :)  THAT is GREAT friendship!  We rounded up the troops for Tanner's baseball game, and gave Natalie and Chad an inside view of life on the Decatur baseball field.  Since we've known eachother for almost 20 YEARS (rounding up a year or two), they knew a lot of people at the game and made the rounds in the Decatur circuit with us.  Saturday evening we again plopped on the back porch and watched as Todd and Chad fought bees, grilled fajitas, and drank a few beverages (not the shooting of the tequila above.)  Sometimes we grown up parent types just really need to relax and let our hair down...

Sean and Carter stopped by after Sean's parents anniversary celebration, and it was great to have so many of my favorite people all cozied up and laughing. 

That's my favorite.  I soaked up all the relaxing, laughing, bonding, and validation I could...and as I watched our kids cozy up for a movie, spread icing on cookies, and hug their goodbyes...you know my cup runneth over.

:)

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a scavenger hunt

Yesterday, after church, we came home to get ready for our "date."  Todd had mysteriously set up this date day for us a few weeks ago, but was stealthy as to the plan for the day.  When we were close to leaving (or so I thought), Todd said, "I love you-and I'm leaving now.  There are directions on your bathroom counter, and I'll see you later."

What??

So I retrieved the note of instructions, written in rhyme, describing a scavenger hunt that would being at the Decatur Courthouse at 2 pm sharp...an hour from the time Todd left.  I quickly texted asking, "whattttt???" But, all I got was a "read the note, and follow directions.  Todd out."

okay....

So, I sat around for as long as I could, but eventually headed up there about 1:45, and found the second clue duct taped to the back of a sundial on the courthouse lawn.  On that clue, I discovered that I wouldn't be alone in this adventure, that Crystal, Jennifer and April would be joining me...which honestly, relieved a ton of my stress.  While I do like surprises, I don't like being put on the spot-which is exactly what that whole scavenger hunt felt like.  When the others arrived, just as confused as I was, I filled them in on what I knew, and we compared notes.  Some of us were completely taken off-guard, and a few of us weren't so easily fooled...but we were off to our second stop-Reatta Bar in downtown Fort Worth.  There we were to find another clue, and drinks of our liking waiting for us. 

I have to say, we were pretty impressed.

That second clue led us to the Ballpark in Arlington where we were supposed to sing "Take me out to the Ballgame" to the manager of the gift shop in order to receive our third clue.  Again, we were totally surprised-and when the boys began question-texting wondering where we were the strong ones were adament we not reveal our location, and that's when I was designated the "weak link."

What??

But it's true.  As soon as the boys started saying they were mad, I began falling for their antics-never wanting anyone to truly be upset with me...but I was assured by the girls that it was all in jest and that noone was really mad, I mean come on, right?  Right.

Our third stop was Pennington Field-a special place for Jennifer, and where we found a clue leading us to a winery in Grapevine where we were to relax with a nice little wine tasting, but had to hurry to get there by 5, when they closed.  It was a close call, what with our confusing directions, and wheelchairs crossing the street as we rushed through Mainstreet Grapevine, but we made it just in time to get a couple of glasses of wine, and snack on some cheese and crackers before deciphering the last of the clues which would lead us to Cafe Italia in Grapevine for dinner. 

The boys were waiting for us, with additional bottles of wine in tow-eager to hear of our travels.  They'd also had a fun day driving all over the metroplex, tasting wine, and dropping off those cleverly worded clues.  They wanted all the details of what we saw, what we thought, and if we were indeed surprised.  The weak link was again discussed and agreed upon by all.  I'm totally going to work on that.

Ya, right.

I'm just amazed right now.  Amazed at the husbands (specifically Jeremy-the brainchild!), amazed at their creativity, amazed at their secret-keeping abilities, and amazed at how we have lucked into some great circles of friends in our lives.  I've said it before, but it applies again...my cup runneth over, again and again.

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MADISON TURNS NINE!

Friday, we headed out to Lake Nocona with a couple of Madison's friends (Shaela and Payton) for a weekend getaway to celebrate MADISON TURNING NINE!  This was our third year to do a smallish slumber party, and I'm guessing it's a little tradition we've started.  I still can't believe she is nine years old, going into FOURTH GRADE, and moving on from playing with toys to singing along on 106.1.  It's just not right.  I love listening to the kids when they have their friends in the car-their conversations are so enlightening.  This ride proved no different, and I was privy to all kinds of information on Justin Beiber and his "hotness."  It was hilarious, especially Madison's take on the entire topic.

Payton:  "Justin is soooooooo hot!"

Shaela:  "I know!  I soooooooooooo think he's hot too!"

Payton:  "He's as hot as the sun!"

Shaela:  "No, he's as hot as Jupiter!"

Madison:  "Actually, if he's as hot as a planet, he should be as hot as Mercury or Venus.  Jupiter's actually pretty cold."

I admit, I laughed out loud when I heard this conversation go down.  Madison's "just not that into" boys yet--but planet?  We know planets.  That girl beats to a different drummer, a true free spirit for sure.

Once we got to the lake, the girls quickly dove right in, swimming, playing with Marley, and taking lessons on tubing.  They just about wore themselves out on Friday night with a whole day to go!  But, we finally drug them into the camper for the night, and they grooved on "having a place for themselves."  I'm not sure what they talked about, but they talked and talked and talked...

Saturday, everyone woke up early to start the fun.  We feasted on a little watermelon to get the party started, and sadly it did not agree with Payton's tummy.  :(  But, she was a trooper and hooked onto the tube again and again.  I think they spent at least 4 hours spinning around the lake, either behind the jet ski or behind the boat.  We did have a little technical difficulty with the boat, but powered through the bump in the road with more swimming, great snacking, and tie-dying!

I was super-pumped at how they turned out!!  It was exhausting though, and there was some much needed relaxing to recover.  :)

After a fancy hot dog and grilled corn dinner, Todd helped assemble a proper water balloon fight.  The boys were really excited to get back at the girls for all injustices.  ever.  Payton proved to be the best water balloon filler and tie-er!  She tried to pass along her skills, and I'm hoping they stuck!  We've got reunion here in just a little over a month!

It wouldn't be a birthday party without a cake!  Gran made her famous Chocolate Cake per Madison's request, and even though the heat tried to beat it, we all thought it was still delicious!  We managed to block the wind long enough for Madison to make a very serious wish, too.  She wouldn't share what she wished for, but I could tell it was for something big.  Hmmm...

After a round of showers, the girls settled back in the camper for a quiet movie, and to rest their sore bones.  They were glad for a little downtime after a day full of fun, and of course-there's always time for more talking and discussing of Justin Beiber's hotness!

Today, the girls woke up still tired, and quickly got started beading some little creatures Shaela had given Madison.  They were a big hit, and luckily Madison's cousin Cameron was around to tutor everyone in exactly where and how to bead the little guys-many more take home treasures for all!

All in all a successful birthday weekend, despite our little setbacks.  :)  I guess there aren't many things that can get in the way of celebrating NINE!  And the best part of the celebration was watching the girls and all that talking.  I just love watching them have fun and develop hopefully truly wonderful friendships. 

Happy Birthday Little Girl!  I hope the year of NINE is the best one yet!

Mother's Day Fiesta

We started a little Mother's Day Tradition 9 years ago when we were pregnant with Madison.  We wanted to roll all the fun of Mom's Day with all of our moms, sisters, friends, cousins-whomever we could round up.  So, we began having an annual Fiesta at our house, inviting everyone to us.  Todd runs the kitchen, and has dabbled with steaks, salads, hamburgers, but I think we've settled on fajitas and an amazing amount of guacamole from now on.  Throw in a few pitchers of Sangria, Margaritas, and today-shots of Tequila (??), and we have ourselves a little part-ay!  The weather didn't really work with us this year, because sitting outside adds an element of Fiesta to the Fiesta.  We were cooped up in the house, but spent the day playing with Baby Andrea, corralling the Scroggins Three (man, someday they will stop fighting, right??), and learning the coolest fashion trends from Abby and Cameron-some kind of fancy foot-shaped shoe is the latest.  Besides fajitas, Becky brought THREE pies, and Cameron made a fancy multi-layered, multi-colored cake.  Very festive indeed!  Now we are having an impromptu Family Movie Night with one of the Ice Ages-and it's hilarious to hear the kids get some of these "jokes."  Todd's got the Beevus low-giggle going along with it, and yep-you know it's coming.  My cup runneth over. 

Baby Sona and Baby Andrea

The Scroggins Three-hoodlum Central

Becky, Michelle, Cameron and Abby

Todd, Michelle and Becky

Mom and Me  :)

This Mom's Day thing might be a racket-one of those "Hallmark Holidays," but any excuse to get people that I love together, eat great food, sip even greater drinks, and celebrate the moment works for me.  :)  Happy Mom's Day!

Toothless Tanner

Tanner FINALLY lost his front tooth over the weekend.  The incident was so monumental, I had to share it with the masses over at Mom's the Word.  Poop Fairy.  Of course Todd would say that.  Luckily, we didn't have to resort to asking the Poop Fairy to come visit; a note was good enough.

Is it majorly sappy that seeing these teeth fall out makes me sad?  The little kid look disappears with the emergence of the toothless grin and subsequent big grown-up teeth.  They begin to look like Big Kids, teenagers even, and it makes me wish for the snuggly days when they didn't even have teeth.  I guess it does make me a little sappy...but man, they work SO HARD for those baby teeth.  Tanner and I both lost sleep as they came in, as he worked his way through the fever and the drooling.  Which, by the way, doesn't seem that long ago...and now they are just falling out right and left-leaving this big kid in their wake. 

Such a Big Kid.

feeding my soul

Over at Mom's the Word this week I wrote about making the concious decision to slow down.  I know you all think it's my hippie chick taking over, but I truly feel that lately all I've been doing is complaining about my schedule and craziness in my life-much like a grandma complains of all her medical issues.  After a while, you just want to roll your eyes and tune her out!  But, I actually do see a light at the end of that tunnel.  And, it was a light of my own making.  After this weekend of complete quiet and still on the girl scout campout, and then a day of field tripping and walking down memory lane with Tanner, I really felt myself re-center, and refocus my life.  (NOW listen to this hippie chick a-talkin'!)  But, it's true.  This entire week of TAKS testing has left me homeless at school, so I've been incapable of getting there early to work on whatever was that never-ending to do list anyway, and it's MADE me let some things go.  By letting some pretty big things (for me) go, I've opened up space in my mind and my schedule, and the breathing room is AMAZING.  This week I took some time for a quiet happy hour to unwind from trapping adolescent boys from their food, and just this evening I was able to breathe in a night of softball and backyard music without thinking of my list.  Ok, well, I might have thought of my list-but I WAS SITTING STILL for HOURS!

Baby steps...but I have a plan, ok an outline for those baby steps.

First Grade Field Trip

Today, I played hooky and went on Tanner's First Grade Field Trip to the Fort Worth Museum of Science and History. We love the Fort Worth Museum in this family-with all 3 kids being veteran Museum School Scholars and all.  That's my Big Kid up there, but here he is on his first day of Museum School.

When we were in the baby and little kid phases, I looked forward to our weekly drive to Museum School.  I'd drop one kid off, and take the other one on a few errands, to the bookstore, and sometimes for a big fancy cookie.  After school, we'd browse through the exhibits or take a few minutes to play in the miniature grocery store.  We'd top off the weekly field trip with a picnic lunch by the water fountains or splurge on McDonald's if the weather wasn't just right.  I know my memories might be a little rosy, but I remember thinking to myself during so many of those picnics how precious those moments were, and how fast my babies were growing.  It was a time each week I made myself slow down and just be.

This last picture is a little of a cheat because it wasn't during our official Museum School Day, but I had offered to take Isaac to Museum School just because I was missing it so much myself.  So, I pulled the kids out of school for a day down at the Arts District and The Amon Carter Museum-and it was the same kind of day...the same kind of feeling.  That, and this may be the best picture I've ever taken of all three kids at once.

So, today was superfun on a few different levels.  The Museum is newly renovated, and superfancy.  We were both excited to see the new exhibits, and spend the day together just like "old times." 

His teacher gave me Tanner and three additional boys to chaperone throughout the Museum, which proved to be very....energizing!  The new Museum was amazing, with a new 4-D exhibit on Energy, hands-on physical science experiments, a new play area, and of course, the Omni.  The boys had an awesome time sprinting from one side of the Museum to the other taking in as much as possible before the day ended.

Jennifer and I signed the boys out, and quickly made our way through the Cowboy Museum upstairs (making mental notes to return with all children in tow.)  On our way home, we stopped at 7-11 for Slurpees-a new tradition, and a very much needed Diet Coke for me.  It was a perfect way to end the day, since we'd shared so many of our Museum School Days with Sam and Jenn, too.  Overall, a very superfun day...and with the possibility of super-sappiness on my part, I survived without even one tear...even as I watched the baby I strolled through those halls run and skip with his Big Kid First Grade Friends.

my cup runneth over...

One of my best friends, Shelly, was robbed last week. The jerks took everything from the washer and dryer to her bras. Yes, her five awesome Victoria's Secret amazing bras that enhance even my chest. Jerks. As she began listing the things they took, it began to sound like the narrator from How the Grinch Stole Christmas. They took the packages, boxes, and BAGS! It was a heart-breaking week, but our little group quickly rallied around her, and lifted her spirits.

Our most master plan culminated this evening, in a happy hour with a surprise jewelry shower for Shelly. Of course her jewelry was stolen, with some very precious pieces, but her costume jewelry was taken as well. For me, that might be worse than the real stuff-I'd feel naked without my layers of beads and variety of silver hoops. She even mentioned that she felt like a boy at the baseball games on Saturday-wearing a baseball cap, but no accessories. We fixed that, and we fixed it good.

But, that's not really what this post is about. This post is about the feeling I had the moment I walked into Crystal's house, and the overwhelming calm that enveloped me as I greeted every person that came through the door. I was early (of course-I'm so broken), and when I walked in I was out of breath, spastic, and frazzled (again-of course). I explained I had no tissue paper, and I'd forgotten kid drinks. Crystal and Cheri both said (practically at once), "We've got it-don't worry." It was such a nice feeling to be coddled for a few seconds while someone just made something happen for me! As people began arriving, we all started (and sometimes finished) conversations about our day, our week, and our everyday. Kids were coming in and out of the kitchen, sneaking some of those "yummy grown up snacks," and we kept sending them right back outside to "enjoy the beautiful day." It really was beautiful by the way. We toasted Shelly, and wished her a happier week, and she basked in the glory of her new accessories. We all have pretty darn good taste, too.

I couldn't stay long-both Jennifer and I had to slam a quick drink, throw a present at Shelly, and head on back to work on the garage sale extravaganza planned for this weekend. But, as I hugged my goodbyes, it occurred to me how extremely blessed I am. My sappy factor went into overdrive as I fought back these stupid tears that seem to be permenantly stuck behind my eyeballs lately. I was instantly hit with overwhelming contentment and acceptance, and yes, Shelly-I know this gathering was in your honor, but I seem to have reaped a few bonus points of my own, and just in the midst of a few weeks that were trying to kill me. Dead. In the ground. Just when I thought I might not pull through, seeing all those smiling faces pulled me up.

Beautiful Minds. Ya-Ya. River Buddies. We seem to be carrying a few nicknames in our baskets, but no matter what you call us, I know we are there. And, I have this sneaky feeling, we always will be.

the roller coaster of teaching

A few weeks ago, I was devasted when I received an email from a parent telling me her child thought I was a mean teacher, wished she would fail, picked on her in class...you get the idea.  It affected me so much because it wasn't the first email I'd received on that topic this year, and I began to question my teaching style and personality.   Yes, I'm hard on my kids.  I make them turn in their work, and hold their "feet to the fire" so to speak.  Sometimes, 25 "tweens" in a confined space just isn't a good idea, and I have to call them on it.  I'm sarcastic with them, too-maybe a little too much.  But, I don't want to be a meanie. Today, that same child gave me a sealed note, and asked me to read it after she'd gone.  Here's what she wrote:

For an Unforgettable Teacher

When I began your class, I think I knew the kind of challenges you'd make me face.
You gave me motivation to pursue the best, and to reject the commonplace.
Your thinking really opened up my mind.
With wisdom, style and grace you made me see that what I'd choose to seek, I'd surely find.
You shook me out of my complacency.
I thank you now for everything you've done.
What you have taught me I will not outgrow.
Your kind attention touched my mind and heart, in many ways that you will never know.
I will remember you my whole life through.
I wish that all my teachers were like you.

I'm not sure what prompted her change in attitude, and maybe she copied this poem off the internets.  But, I have seen a change in her lately, and that's a good thing.  And yes, Sappy Danielle totally teared up when she read that.  Because I do this teaching thing for more than just the spam it puts on the table.

Twitter Quote

I finally figured out Twitter, and now that I'm properly following some people and organizations, I get fun updates randomly via text.  This little gem was texted to me today, and I thought it appropriate after taking the kids to "Where the Wild things Are" yesterday.

"Life beats down and crushes the soul and art reminds you that you have one-"

-Stella Adler

Just when I needed it...

"Mommy?"

"Yes, Grady?"

"You're the best Mommy Ever."

**me wiping a tear from my sappy eye**

:)

So, I've hit a lull

Over there at Mom's the Word.  Any ideas out there for me to ramble on and on about?  Send 'em my way.  I might even give you credit.  :)

and then there were three...

Yesterday, I spent the day with one of my oldest friends as she became a mom. An experience that unexpectedly touched me, and added another layer of friendship between us. A friendship already so rich in history, we could be family.

When I heard the news she was in labor, I hesitated before making the drive into Dallas. I knew we'd talked about me being there with her, and for her Mom, but at the same time I didn't want my presence to be an intrusion. I sat for a minute and reflected on the days Madison, Tanner and Grady were born. They were the highlights of our lives, and we loved sharing our miracles with our family and friends. In my mind, there was a backdrop of love and support for us each day, and Sona was a part of that for me. I wanted to try to pay that back.

When I arrived in Dallas around 11am, she was in active labor, at 5 cm, and her water had broken. She had been in labor and coping since 11 the night before. Her Doula was coaching her through natural childbirth, and there was evidence of the Zen environment around the room. After giving the appropriate hugs and kisses, I set about making jobs for myself, making sure Kevin was fed, and Laura was managing. I stepped out to give Sona privacy and solitude during those intense moments, keeping the path between her room and the waiting room warm. Patti was actually able to stop by, and we laughed in Kevin's delirium. A good day to have a baby.

Around 2 in the afternoon, we got the news that Sona hadn't progressed passed 5 cm, despite the increasing pitocin drip. The mood turned, and I was hit with another reality in motherhood: I will never stop worrying. I will never be able to see my own child in pain. I will forever hate to see my child disappointed or heartbroken. Even when they are grown, productive members of society living their own destinies, my heart will break for them. I gave Laura my shoulder, and tried to swallow that information. Information I knew in my head, but until that moment, had not fully understood in my heart. I tried to offer some of my own wisdom, and passed along a little of Shelly's wisdom too, ending my little pep talk with "No matter how the baby gets here, we still win at the carnival. We still get a baby." I think that helped. Thank you Shelly. Still a good day to have a baby.

We dried our eyes, and headed back to give Sona our support. What she wanted was rest, and that found its way through the epidural. Her Doula talked her through the decision, and we moved on with a new birth plan. We watched some amazing contractions on her monitor for the next few hours, told stories, and guessed how Baby would make his or her arrival. The mood had shifted a little, and even though we were still anxious for Baby to come, we enjoyed those moments of relaxation coupled in anticipation. At 5:30pm, we knew a c-section was coming. So, to prepare, we applied mascara and lip gloss. Kidding. Sort of. Laura, Kevin, and the Doula slipped on some scrubs and waited with Sona. I collected Sona's things, and slipped out to my warmed seat in the waiting room. I was so excited for them.

I reflected on each of my sections, each time a baby grew inside me, and how each baby was so perfect. So different, but still so perfect. To say that pregnancy, birth, and motherhood is life-changing doesn't really even begin to scratch the surface. Emotions somehow grow from pastel to living color in your heart as you begin to experience the world through your child's life. As I sat in that waiting room, my mind was a photo album of those moments, and they spilled over into Sona's future moments. I couldn't wait for her journey to begin.

Laura found me after the surgery and overwhelmingly bubbled that she had a granddaughter. Andrea Julianna, with a head of black curls. She led me to recovery so that I could meet my Goddaughter. She was perfect. And beautiful. Sona and Kevin were glowing, dizzy with happiness. My eyes blurred as I pieced together every part of her little baby burrito-always a favorite.

The rest of the night, we mostly just stared at Little Andrea, and fell in love with her. Sona moved to her new room, and I found food for Kevin again. Never let a boy get hungry. :) In my head, I thanked them for sharing this day with me. I'd never been on the other side of the hospital bed, and seeing the process unfold, being part of that process gave me a connection I hadn't realized I missed. I said my goodnights, and as I left, I watched this new little family settle in, already in a routine of nursing and pooping, and smiled from the inside out. A great day to have a baby.

A New Chapter

Growing up a Marine Corps Brat, I remember my childhood in reference to the 2-3 year time periods spent at each military base. The pattern of splitting my life into chapters was established, and I began to compartmentalize each stage of growing up with the place we lived. While most people remember actual years, teachers or popular songs, I remember houses, schools, and states. I survived being the new girl 12, 000 times, and somewhere along the way acquired a baby sister. I fell in love with dolphins, and embraced my inner flower child as the makings of my own skin. In the background, my dad's guitar was always playing Mamas Don't let your Babies Grow up to be Cowboys.


My first major life change was when dad retired, and we moved to Decatur-as civilians. No more military base, no more military brats, and no more dinners at the O'Club. Those 4 years were the longest I'd lived anywhere, and they happened to coincide with High School. I became a Decatur Eagle, and danced along with the other Eagle Dolls at halftime. I played the flute in the band, and somehow was elected President of the Business Professionals of America. I've never been quite sure how that happened, and laughed along with my friends when it did. Those friends were the backbone of my experience then, and it was remarkable to me to think I would know and see these people for many years to come. Sophomore World History prompted me to make my own religion to 5th Dimension's, Aquarius, but Pomp and Circumstance was the soundtrack I followed as I set my sites on A&M.


Aggieland was my home for the next 5 years. To this day, College Station feels more like home than any other city. Not only was it the first place I lived on my own, but it was there I made so many life decisions. Decisions like job direction, internships...oh. and husband. Big Stuff. I embraced my Texan Roots and love for outdoor living with Robert Earl Concerts and the beginning of many, many camping trips. I went out on my own to D.C. and began to grow a backbone and feel that my skin was indeed my own. Soon, Pomp and Circumstance was again the soundtrack to push me on to the next chapter, but in my head I was hearing The Road Goes on Forever and the Party Never Ends.


We graduated, packed a U-haul, moved out of the trailer in College Station and into a duplex in Coppell. I began my teaching career in 7th grade science, and for the next 5 years, I focused on making a difference in the lives of those kids. Being a teacher was who I became, and not just what I did. My pattern of being the new girl emerged twice as I changed schools, but both times I was more confident to show my Inner Flower Child Texan Aggie to the friends that would become like an extended family to me. We became homeowners and parents during these years, and as we prepared for the next move, I was singing along to The Wheels on the Bus.

Keller was home for my Stay-at-Home years. I have spent the last six years going on playdates, organizing kid-centered field trips, manufacturing little tyke crafts, masterplanning naptimes and our family schedule. I have thrown myself into the business of being a mom, and have had a love-hate relationship with that experience. Looking back on these years, tears form around my eyes because of the tender memories I have rocking my babies to sleep, watching them learn to walk, and marveling at seeing them turn into little people. Those memories are peppered with potty training frustration, sharing lessons gone wrong, and never-ending time-outs. They are tender and bittersweet memories. It was perhaps the biggest gift I have received in my entire life, and my heart swells with a gratitude I don't think I could ever really express. As we moved to Decatur, I could feel our family dynamic changing especially as our Ipods rivaled over Todd Snider's I Can't Complain, Hannah Montana's Best of Both Worlds, and the soundtrack to Cars.

Now I feel it's time for a new chapter. Yesterday, I accepted a part-time 7th grade Science position. It will be a small commute, but it seemed like God really gave me the answer I'd been searching for. The fact that the offer came on Todd's Birthday was an omen I just couldn't ingore. I'm nervous and excited at the same time. I wonder how our little family will maneuver the change, and how I will be accepted back in the real world of teaching. I'm excited to be the boss of my own classroom again, and to immerse myself into making a difference. Through all the chapters I've experienced to this point, that has been my ultimate goal. I know it sounds cliche and silly, but that inner Flower Child drives me to show the world I care. Things have truly come full circle as I hear 5th Dimension singing Aquarius, and I know in my gut it really is the dawning of a new age.

Jon and Kate

The news of Jon and Kate making the decision to split just makes me sad. I always get sad when I hear of people breaking up, it goes against my "happily ever after" mindset. And then there's all those kids-8 kids who didn't ask to be thrust into this mess. It bums me out.

Especially when you look at how much Jon and Kate have gone through to get to this point. Before their show started, they obviously had difficulty getting pregnant to resort to fertility treatments. That in and of itself is enough to wear a person down. Having friends go through heartbreak after heartbreak, and my own slow-to-conceive experience the first time around, I understand that frustration and subsequent obsession with wanting a baby. It's tough. But for these two, that's been maybe the easiest hurdle of their married life. Imagine. 8 kids. 8 kids basically the same age. My 3 are within 5 years of each other and it gets a little insane around here. And that's just 3. Imagine coming home from the hospital with 6 infant seats. Putting 8 kids in a stroller to go to the zoo. Go anywhere with 8 kids. See how sane you are. Potty train them, and then check your sanity again. But, they made it through those high maintenance stages-the kids are 5 and 7 now. While that adds its own level of crazy, it is somehow a little easier. Time to develop herding instincts and mediation skills, but for the most part-manageable?

Those first years of their show were so raw and real. They showed Kate budgeting, constantly without make up, exhausted, and frustrated. They showed Jon leaving for work, and helping out when he came home. Yes, even then Kate was the "boss" of him, but let's be honest men-which mom out there is not the menu planner, activity coordinator, house organizer, personal shopper, and discipline manager of the house? I'm sure there are a few exceptions, but I'd bet I get a majority rules on this one. In their interviews, Jon always had his arm around Kate, and they'd joke about her bossiness. I'm even guessing she was bossy before they had a gaggle of kids. Just a guess though. But he loved her, and she loved him. I hate to see that gone.

We used to tape their show and watch it as a family. It's a little hard "these days" to find a truly family friendly show to watch with your preschool and elementary aged kids. Go ahead, turn on the TV at 7 and see what you find. Law and Order? 2 1/2 Men? Lost? Ya, um.. no. Anyway, the kids loved watching their show-seeing the fun things they did, and especially how Kate managed all the mealtimes, playtimes, bathtimes and bedtimes. They understood the magnitude of that undertaking. Somehow. I've taped it this year, but we aren't watching it as a family. The show has changed. It's not a light-hearted account of raising a super-sized family anymore; it's a heavy hearted account of the breakdown of a marriage. Of a family. I know their lives have changed since that first episode. They obviously aren't on such a tight budget anymore. Kate must have a personal shopper, trainer, and wardrobe manager. The activities are more lavish than a backyard campout and trip to the local playdo factory. Now Emeril comes over to cook dinner, or each kid gets their own personal playhouse. So, yes, things have changed. Jon and Kate have changed. Jon has obviously made some bad choices and seems to almost resent the show, and Kate obviously has anger about those choices, but in a different way seems to love what the show has done for their family. So, yes, big differences in mindsets there. But how can you look back on pictures, and hours of videos and not remember the love that brought you together? The love that made your family?

We aren't watching their show anymore, especially since their latest announcement of divorce. It seems wrong and invasive. I've heard they both said the "show must go on," but I wish it wouldn't. I wish they'd both take a step back, turn the cameras off, and look at each other. And talk. They really need to talk. They'll always have to talk, they are parents to 8 kids. I know sometimes divorce is better for the couple and subsequently the kids, and maybe Jon and Kate are just worn out after 8 years of parenting multiples. Maybe it is easier to visit each other and for family time to be a planned, videoed event. I'm not them, I don't know. No one does but Jon and Kate. oh-and their 8.

Staycation 2009

This year, we thought we'd try to save a few dollars and check out a staycation-spending a few days doing fun things close to home.

We started at Lone Star Park watching the horse races. Todd and I had been to the races before for work-sponsored events (back in the Arthur Andersen days), and also when Madison was just a toddler. We'd always planned to go back, and Madison's recent infatuation with horses seemed like the perfect time. Once we settled on a non-booty-burning spot to sit, we had superfun picking horses and cheering them on to wins. Tanner cracked me up with the intensity he invested in each race. The NASCAR influence was a live and well. Grady's attention span was limited between races, but he entertained himself by running around like a banshee and adoring his brother. Tanner's just pretty awesome in Grady's world.

After the races, we headed to our superfancy hotel courtesy of http://www.priceline.com/. In fact, the Hilton Hotel & Conference Center was SO fancy, that, to bribe the kids into awesome behavior, I told them President Obama might just be staying there. It worked like a charm too, complete with whispering in the halls. Sometimes I'm just brilliant.

Monday, it was on to Six Flags. I was a little skeptical of this part of our adventure-not sure how exactly Grady would hang in that situation, but he did most excellent. There were a few tense moments, specifically involving kiddie bumper cars and explanations of height requirements on rides like The Titan. But, after an embarrassing time-out and scream-a-thon, he consented to behaving like a "good boy," and for the most part...did. It was tiring being such a good boy though.Madison was a trooper and rode some super roller coasters like Texas Giant. She's just sassy enough to take it.Tanner, like me, just took in the moments. When I asked him what his favorite part of the day was, he said, "oh-just EVERYTHING." Personally, I think it was reading the map. That boy loves him some maps.We took in a few of the shows to cool off from the Texas Heat, and I'm so glad we did! Otherwise, I would never have been able to snap a shot of my kids alongside real-life gangster cowboys and a sheriff. Can I tell you-they have never been so still and perfect for a picture. Maybe there is something to those guns everyone likes so much. Kidding.

That night, we stayed at the Staybridge Suites which I only mention because it was so incredibly awesome. Priceline gave it to us for a cool $40, and it included a suite (bedroom, living room, kitchen), happy hour & appetizers, and a hot breakfast the next morning. The kids thought we were in the lap of luxury, and I had to agree. Our family of five will definitely be checking out this situation for future travel. Just to give you a taste, this is the breakfast area-so nice we almost hated to leave!!But, we had big plans at the Great Wolf Lodge, and once we told the kids that's where we were headed, their bags were packed:

First observations at the Great Wolf: Sensory. Overload. There isn't even a picture that can do the Water Park justice. Constant slides, sprays, buckets of dumping water-all on cue to a wolf's howl. It's an odd thing for a mom when her chicks scatter in a place like this. I'm still adapting to the fact that my kids are getting old, and have acquired life skills-like swimming. Madison was all about this MagiQuest game going on all over the hotel. Some kind of Harry-Potter-Problem-Solving-Wand-Game. After we got her into the groove, we even let her roam the hotel (phone in pocket) on her own to complete the "quests." I caught the melancholy look on Todd's face when she came to check in and report her findings. He was just a little sad to realize "she's growing up." She totally is. :(Tanner and Grady grooved on the waterplay for the rest of the afternoon, and we finished out the evening with Storytime and Songs in the lobby-a very "Mommy" event that Todd endured. Afterwards, I wanted a good pic of the 3 hoodlums at the Lodge. It took 63 shots, and here are the best ones. This is my life. My crazy, crazy life.

After purchasing some croc decoration thingies, and a round of stuffed wolves, we piled in the ol' minivan for the drive home. Grady was asleep in 2.3 minutes, and we didn't hear many peeps out of the other 2 either. To me, that's an indication of satisfied fun meters all around. I've been told it was the "best vacation ever," and have to agree that it was lovely to spend this time together-all 5 of us. I say that because it was really the first time we have all done such "touristy stuff." Part of my "stay home mommyness" has always included crazy field trips, and up until now, we've pretty much ditched Grady at times like this to give the other 2 some special attention. So many times in the last 4 days I just sat back and soaked up the memories the kids will take with them as part of their life with us. The memories of Scroggins-party of five.