the story of growing up Scroggins

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Caught in the Middle

So here I am-3rd week into the gig. Now that I have my bearings, I feel more effective. I feel like I haven't lost my skills anyway. It's weird, though, being a sub-everyone has their own daily grind, and this outsider doesn't really have a part of that. I feel myself looking at the clock a lot, but I'm not sure if that's entirely from my pull towards home, or just this particular Language Arts situation. I have to pull myself away from the house in the morning because I get sidetracked with all the things to do there, and in the afternoons I do the same here. I remember coming to the realization my third year teaching that it would never all get done-there was always tomorrow-but in my "cross things off my list world" I REALLY like things to get done. It's a hard thing this juggle-I'm not sure where my identity lies anymore. The past five years I've put my heart into mommyland, and the five before that I put my heart into teaching. People who teach-that's who they are, it's not what they do. That's how it is for me anyway-this is a part of me, and now I have to figure out how all those parts fit together-for the next five years.

2 comments:

House said...

Thought I would leave you a comment so you wouldn't be sad...only kidding! Are you considering teaching next year?? Kind of sounds like you're torn here...:)

Harry said...

Follow your heart - as lame as that sounds. Yours has a history of leading you down the right path.

;)