Pain in the Neck

I want to cry.

I have an official crick in my neck. Never had one of those before-they pretty much suck. Not only can I not turn my head to the right, but I can't even straighten my neck without wanting to claw my eyeballs out and scream in pain.

I've taken a cocktail of pain medication throughout the day-so not helping.

The only highlight of the injury (?) is when I winced in pain during put-Grady-down-for-nap, he rubbed my neck and asked if that made it better. When it didn't, he gave it a little kiss. It didn't work, but it would have been cool if it did.

Runaround Sue

We met in 8th grade. I was new to Decatur...a "move in", and I'm pretty sure she admired my fringe jacket and tie-dyed shirt. If she didn't back then, she's learned to appreciate the style by now. :) Throughout high school we shared drill team dances, girls' nights, double dates, study habits...college took us down different roads, but we shared some great roadtrips. Ironically, she was Todd's first 'real' girlfriend, but as one of my best friends, stood up for us at our wedding. It was at her baby shower I officially let the world know Madison was on the way.

Now we are living parallel lives as we raise our families in smallish towns. Hers is in Stillwater, mine here in the metropolis of Decatur. We both are juggling kids, stay-at-home vs. working mommyhoood, new family traditions, and family matriarch training. :)

This weekend Brandi made the roadtrip with her youngest, Audrey. They were here on business-to do some Grandparent bonding, but got to crash at my place. They got in Friday night after 10, and we stayed up until after 2AM chatting the night away! Her first question: "how do you live here???" I explained the adjustment of being an adult on the same paths I was a teen...and she....didn't really believe me when I said it was neat. :) I don't even remember all we talked about that night, just how easy and comfortable it was.

Saturday was the same mellow wonderfulness as we sat on the back porch with our bottles of wine and watched the kids hike through the back pasture. We tried to rally Saturday night, but one great thing about great friends is being able to wimp out. We crashed before the news on SNL. Ain't no shame either. Sadly, they had to leave Sunday morning and, as soon as they left, Madison was making plans for their next visit. Brandi promised it would not be long. I hope not.

I might have to pull out the Slumber Party or Senior Lip Sync videos as blackmail...

Salt Mines

So, I've been subbing this week. The same school that I subbed in last year called me for a few days this week. It was nice being in that school again since it was so familiar. This time I was in a 6th grade science room. SO MUCH BETTER than a 5th grade Language Arts room. I was in my element, and all the fun parts of teaching washed over me. I talked about the metric system, and helped the students through a test...I saw a few students from last year and they came up to hug me and tell me all about their summer...Today I taught a lab and watched as the kids rubbed their brain cells together to have a very painful-problem-solving-thought. I love making them think. So fun.

I've scored another long term sub position for the spring. One of the teachers I taught with last year is having a baby and requested I be her sub. That's so nice too-to be acknowledged and wanted for a set of skills. Sometimes I forget I have skills-or rather, sometimes I wonder if I have any skills at all.

I remember Barbie saying Math is hard. She was wrong. Motherhood is.

Birthday Blast

Happy Birthday to ME! Yesterday, I celebrated my 33rd birthday. Thirty-three years old. I remember when my mom turned 33ish. She was pregnant with my sister, and I was in first grade-ish (ok, so I don't remember the EXACT dates and events, but the general era I do recall.) Madison is in second grade now, so I guess she'll remember me at this age too. Funny thing is that my mom seems the same to me now as she did then, not necessarily older-just older than me. My grandparents never seemed older either-just older than my parents. Come to think of it, my sister never seemed older either-just younger than me. I may have an age perception issue.

In any case, I had a wonderful birthday. The weekend started with the first Decatur Home Football Game...a "Hope Floats" moment in progress. Grady watched the football fly across the field; Tanner conversed with the men about the plays during the game (seriously), and Madison kept her eye on the crowd looking for her next social engagement. As my friend Jennifer and I corralled the kids, our better halves parked cars. Todd is second in charge of that for the Lion's Club-yep, it takes TWO to lead the club in parking those cars, but I'm starting to babble...

Saturday morning we watched Tanner in his second official Little League Tball game. He's doing so much better than he did when he was three. We must have been on some good crack when we signed him up 2 years ago. He hit the ball twice without the tee, and EVEN watched ATTENTIVELY when he was in the outfield. Todd and his BFF, Jason, were coaching the team, and I had to laugh watching them pitch and catch. It was only a mere 15ish years ago that I sat watching them do the same thing for ol' DHS. This time their children were at homeplate instead of a rival team. Another "Hope Floats" moment to add to the birfday weekend.

Then we headed home to hunker down for Ike. The clouds were rolling in, and we were expecting floods out the whazoo. This wouldn't have been the first time a hurricane celebrated my birthday with me. When I was 13, we evacuated Corpus Christi for Hurricane Gilbert. We boarded up and drove to Beeville, a previous home, and I watched the clouds form spirals. It was eerie then, and it was almost as ominous this time. Only I was here, and my sister and some friends were down there. Not my favorite part of their evacuation plan-but I'm babbling again. Saturday night, we celebrated with my parents over dinner, brownies, and conversation centering on such hurricanes. After dinner we had some Sangria and cake with Shelly and Jared and Co. The Sangria/Benadryl cocktail lulled me into a wonderful birthday sleep.

As luck would have it, we woke up Sunday morning to blue skies and perfect weather. After checking in with all my hurricane survivors, and leaving Grady with Gran, we headed to Six Flags with some friends to celebrate not only my birthday-but their birthday. The hands of fate recently plopped some super fun friends in our lap, and just to make sure we got the hint-fate gave us the same birthday.

We caught up with eachother at the bobsled, and started the day o' fun. We had a variety of kid ages tagging along...but they seemed to mesh during the Aquaman ride. Nothing like getting shlopping wet to bring you together I guess. After that, it was wheels off. The big kids (I'm talking about Todd here) went running to Batman, Mr. Freeze, the Texas Giant, the Shockwave...I'm not sure the others went willingly, or gave into Todd's peer pressure. He's kind of a pro-peer-pressurer. I probably should have warned them.

I'm a little wimpish on those rides, so I was glad to have Julie-a fellow wimp. We volunteered to take the littler ones to Looney Toon Land, the Train, and the log ride. Equally as fun-promise. There were a few tense moments of discontented attitudes and nervous tummies...

But our map reading skills, powers of negotiation, and determination saw us through. We ended the day on the Pei Wei Patio (scaring off other would-be diners) splurging on good food and homemade birthday cake courtesy of Sharyn.

It's been a few years since I truly celebrated my birthday, and I must admit this day gets a 'blast' rating. Randy and Quinn-I did not know I was looking for birthday pals, but I'm glad Fate knew what I needed in leading me to you. She knows how much those "Hope Floats" days make my heart smile and my aura giggle.

On the other hand, She might just be making up for that Gilbert evacuation. No babbling.

My Pick Up Man

Today, Todd left driving this:

And came home driving this:

He took advantage of all the smart people dumping their trucks, and snatched up this snazzy one. Apparently he has been in a depressed state driving the Yaris, and now his manliness is back intact.

Bipolar

My kids make me bipolar.

Yesterday was a horrible-no-good-very-terrible-bad-day in the life of Madison, Tanner, and Grady's mom. Each kid had something that irked me, making me feel ineffective. Madison had sloppy issues at gymnastics (big surprise), Tanner wouldn't mind (his skull is 10 inches thick most of the time), and Grady must have had 352 accidents. These are just the highlights. Last night I went to bed wondering how I was possibly going to get these kids grown up to be happy, healthy, productive members of society. blah blah blah.

Today, on the other hand, was a lovely-wonderful-very-great-day in the life of Madison, Tanner, and Grady's mom. The kids were darn near perfect...as perfect as they can be anyway. First, I know you are wondering (all 5 of you that read this) how Grady's second day at MDO went. Well, it went just peachy. I picked him up and EVERYONE was smiles. His teachers told me there was not a single tear the entire day, AND he took a nap, AND he went potty, AND he gave them a goodbye hug. Not only that, but he told me the rest of the day when he wanted to go potty. Imagine. During Grady's wonderful day at school, I volunteered in Tanner's class. The entire time I was there Tanner was just beaming. He did exactly what his teacher told him to do THE FIRST TIME SHE TOLD HIM. When I left, he gave me a hug and told me he loved me. Imagine that! Madison's lazy sloppy ways must have gotten on her own nerves, and SHE CLEANED HER ROOM WITHOUT BEING ASKED. She gave me a goodnight hug and kiss, and told me I was the best mommy ever. I must be imagining.

Now, given the flip-flop of these two days, how is a mom supposed to stay sane? Just when I think I've done something right...WHAM...not so much. Up. Down. Up. Down. Up. Down.

Isn't that the definition of bipolar? Maybe I'm already there....

I remember...

7 years ago those planes hit the towers.

I awoke and dressed for school. I wore a black skirt, red blazer, and heels. Todd dropped Madison at her babysitter, and I drove to school listening to a CD instead of the radio. I always listened to the radio, but that day I just didn't. No reason. I arrived at school and didn't check my email. I always checked email first. Instead, I set up for a lecture and lab on Protein Synthesis. Overhead in place, lab equipment set, I finally sat down to my computer. The first email I opened read "a plane just accidently flew into the tower in New York." I didn't understand. I had a TV in my room, so I turned on the news and watched the events unfold as my students entered the classroom.

Together, we didn't understand. We thought it was an accident, a terrible terrible accident. We tried to make sense of how something like this could have happened. I muted the TV and started my lesson. In the middle of RNA Transcription, one of my students gasped as another plane hit the building. We stopped and watched the news again. We still thought there was something wrong with the planes. We still thought it was an accident.

Again, I muted the TV and continued my lesson. We got to RNA translation I think-and another plane hit the Pentagon. I felt it hit my chest. We closed our books. I sat in a student desk with my kids around me, and we just watched. Now we knew; this was no accident. One student started crying. Another tried to figure out who and why this was happening. They all asked me their questions. They all expected me to have the answers.

Those kids knew me well. This was the second time I had the opportunity to teach them; I had them when I taught 7th grade. They watched me co-teach with some of my best friends. They knew my passion, my love for them and my job. It was because of these kids that I had the courage to move to the high school to teach Freshman Biology. I knew I would have these kids, and I looked forward to it. We were old friends, and I didn't want to let them down. I wanted to have those answers too.

The bell rang, and first period ended. My kids left my classroom, and my conference period began. Like everyone else in the country, I got on my cell phone and began to check in with my people. First, I had to know if my dad was in the air. He flew for Delta, and I had no idea where he could be. I had no idea if he was at work or out golfing. It took over an hour, but eventually I talked to him. He was home. He was safe. I started shaking. Next, I called my babysitter. I told her I would be home as soon as I could. She was upset. Finally, I drove over to my old school and hugged my old friends. I needed a safety net. We all needed a safety net.

The bell rang again, and third period started. Another class of kids entered my room, and we talked through the day's events. We prayed, and again, I tried to start my lesson. An announcement was made. We had to evacuate the building; there had been a bomb threat. We gathered ourselves and made our way outside. There were no planes in the air. We waited and waited. Chaos. Organized chaos. Finally, the school day ended.

I sprinted to my car, blasted the speed limit, and raced to get Madison. I could not to get her fast enough. I needed to see her, hold her, and let her know that everything would be ok. She was 3 months old. I scooped her up and drove home. I called Todd and asked him to come home early. I called my dad and asked for an explanation. I looked at Madison and hoped for safety.

I know the days and weeks that followed were surreal for everyone. American flags sold out. Everyone was proud to be an American. Firemen flocked to New York. Everyone prayed for survival and reunion. It was a humbling day seeing our Country attacked. It was a sobering day seeing our kids scared. I think of those kids every year on September 11th. I remember our naked skies, and I pray we remember our naked eyes. I am still in awe of our delicate life, and I will always be proud to be an American.