New girl...again.

Tomorrow.  Officially.  I hate this part.

Best Day Ever!

As many of you, all 5 of my faithful readers, know, I applied, accepted, and signed for a job in Decatur this year teaching 5th Grade Science at Carson.  I've had a ton of stressers in the back of my mind all summer about the change, mainly the change in schools for the kids, teaching in an ELEMENTARY SCHOOL with CUBBIES, teaching a TAKS tested grade, teaching CSCOPE curriculum, teaching new TEKS, and then just your basic social scene of a new school.  Luckily-which doesn't even begin to describe the calm it gives me, but luckily, my kindred spirit Crystal teaches at Carson as well, and has promised to be my willing Safe Haven as I traverse the ups and downs of my own emotional well being. 

I've managed to space out some of these stressers, which is proving to be useful to me.  My room is up and done, and the Science Lab is well on its way.  That in and of itself gives me the necessary ability to breathe, and from what I've read, breathing is always good.  However, yesterday I met with the other two fifth grade science teachers-teaching at the other two elementaries, and came home yesterday over the limit.  For Real.  I was overwhelmed.  My principal stopped me on my way out of the building to check my pulse and stress level because he said it was written all over my face-I'm not good at disguising my feelings-obviously.  I actually stopped at Wal Mart, bought a six pack, and drank two on the way home.  (Jenn-I'm speaking figuratively here, sort of.)  I whined to Todd a bit about it, but he chalked it up to "Danielle's beginning of School Stress."  He's so supportive that way.  So, I consciously put it in the back of my mind, where I'm fighting to keep it for now.

However, today, I left school practically floating on cloud 9.  I met with my grade level team, and we hammered out some 5th grade policies, procedures, and guidelines.  I typed up our Team Packet.  We talked about what we would cover the first days of school.  We were all on the same page-almost cutouts from the same cloth, and WE GOT STUFF DONE.  As if that wasn't enough, my principal let us know that 4 of the 5 designated teacher days before school we were going to get to work in our rooms.  THAT NEVER HAPPENS.  I've been busting my tail up there all summer because I was sure I'd be sitting in meetings all that week wishing I was in my room.  You couldn't have slapped the smile off of my face.  And, to top everything else wonderful in my day, my team told me that at the new-to-the-district meeting next week I would be given $200 to spend in my room!  It was like I won the lottery of happy days!  I'm leaps and bounds above where I was at the beginning of last year.  My list of stressers is decreasing by the second, and I'm thinking God must have known what he was doing all this time.  He's just now letting me in on his big, wonderful secret.

I'm a lucky girl.  Lucky, lucky girl.  If that's bragging, I'm ok with it just once.  I might just have earned it this time.  :)

a terrible, no good, very bad day.

ugh.

I know you might be tiring of hearing me complain, but isn't that the definition of blogging?  (in a way?)  Today was awful.  awful.  awful.  awful.  Everything that could go wrong, did.  I had technology issues.  I had redo-work-that-I-already-did-issues.  I had dicipline issues.  I made a kid cry-or rather he chose to cry when I called him out on his behavior and had him call his mother to explain the situation.  I had disorganization issues.  But on top of everything, I had kid issues, and I hate that the most.  Everything else can go wrong...the technology, the energy vampires, the parents, the "documentation"....everything, but when it comes down to me and my students-if that goes wrong, I just can't handle it.  I hated that I had to call a parent for dicipline today, and I hated that I had rude kids today.  Kids that made me feel that what I was doing just wasn't quite good enough, and it bothered me all dang day.

And then I log into all my stuff tonight, and read an email from a kid-not a parent, but a kid.  Another kid that I called out today for being rude, disrespectful, and downright condescending.  I explained that his demeanor, while maybe not intentional, left the wrong impression, and he might need to rethink that whole aspect of his conversational style.  In his email, he apologized for that, and hoped his comments did not ruin my day.

Well...fancy that. 

It still wasn't a great day, but that helped.  It helped a lot.

Edit:
Thank you ladies for the kudos.  I hope what I say and do makes a difference-even on these kind of days.  I reread that email again this morning, and it just makes me laugh.  Kids are so funny...see for yourself.  (and for the record, there was no detention with his name on it on my desk-the grapevine must have made that one up.)

Mrs Scroggins,


I'm sending you this email because I wanted to explain myself a little better about what I said in class and also because I heard through the grapevine that there was a detention with my name on it on your desk.
First of all I hope the detention is not for what I said - actually, I hope that there *isn't* a detention sitting on your desk with my name on it and I am sending you this email for nothing.

Anyway, I think prerogative was a bad choice of wording on my part and I also mentioned you specifically instead of teachers in general. I also don't think you completely understood what I was trying to ask. What I meant to ask was if there was an overarching rule that teachers weren't allowed to assign homework due the day of TAKS testing. (My question was answered when my social studies teacher did just that.)

I apologize if I sounded rude or came across as being questionative of your authority. I hope my comments didn't upset you or ruin your day, and  I'd also like to say that I have never been to detention and I hope to keep it that way - but whether I go or not is your prerogative. (Maybe I shouldn't use that word...)

ya, it helped a lot again.

ya, ya, so it's snowing again.

What a cluster of a day.  Todd and I didn't think the weather was supposed to get bad until tomorrow, so we were completely thrown by the winter wonderland we woke up to.  But, we got the kids dressed, planned for them to stay with his mom, and I planned on making the drive to Dragon Country.  Todd called from town about 10 minutes after I dropped the kids off, and told me to stay home, call a sub, whatever I had to do, that the roads were crappy.  But, that totally put me in a bind!  Who seriously is going to pick up the sub day at 8:00 in the morning when it's freaking snowing buckets outside?  It makes me stress and feel like a total slacker.  So, I made the trek to the city, only to have one class before school was cancelled.  So, I got back on the road and got home safely, because Todd told me to go STRAIGHT home.  He said he would be home ASAP, and he would get the kids from his mom.  Now I'm home alone, and everyone is stuck in the snow at their house.  I'm thinking of suiting up and making the hike over there.  I should be revelling in my alone time, but who wants to hang out by themselves on a snow day?

Bonus:  I just got the call that I have a snow day tomorrow.  :)  No craziness for us!  Maybe we will all be reunited by then!

the roller coaster of teaching

A few weeks ago, I was devasted when I received an email from a parent telling me her child thought I was a mean teacher, wished she would fail, picked on her in class...you get the idea.  It affected me so much because it wasn't the first email I'd received on that topic this year, and I began to question my teaching style and personality.   Yes, I'm hard on my kids.  I make them turn in their work, and hold their "feet to the fire" so to speak.  Sometimes, 25 "tweens" in a confined space just isn't a good idea, and I have to call them on it.  I'm sarcastic with them, too-maybe a little too much.  But, I don't want to be a meanie. Today, that same child gave me a sealed note, and asked me to read it after she'd gone.  Here's what she wrote:

For an Unforgettable Teacher

When I began your class, I think I knew the kind of challenges you'd make me face.
You gave me motivation to pursue the best, and to reject the commonplace.
Your thinking really opened up my mind.
With wisdom, style and grace you made me see that what I'd choose to seek, I'd surely find.
You shook me out of my complacency.
I thank you now for everything you've done.
What you have taught me I will not outgrow.
Your kind attention touched my mind and heart, in many ways that you will never know.
I will remember you my whole life through.
I wish that all my teachers were like you.

I'm not sure what prompted her change in attitude, and maybe she copied this poem off the internets.  But, I have seen a change in her lately, and that's a good thing.  And yes, Sappy Danielle totally teared up when she read that.  Because I do this teaching thing for more than just the spam it puts on the table.

the meanest teacher in the history of ever.

Today I received one of "those" parent emails, telling me what a mean teacher I am.  Ugh.  I hate those emails, those parent conferences, and those phone calls.  No matter how many I get under my belt, they always feel like a sucker punch to the gut.  This particular email picked apart a few of my personality traits, teaching styles, and teaching schedule and just felt like one beat down after another.  So, I spent the rest of the afternoon second guessing myself....wondering how my attitude, teaching philosphy and sweetly sarcastic tone affects my little darlings.  I don't want to send them into lifelong therapy, I really don't...so I have to know.

Am I really that mean?

Bouncing my thoughts off a few people, they tell me that I am not, but, as my friends I guess they are supposed to respond that way.  What if I really am that mean of a teacher? What if my students really are needing to save for therapy starting now?  That would be horrible.  I would hope that they "get" my sarcastic tone, and understand my strict nature as a labor of love, but maybe they don't...maybe I'm just missing the boat on this one?

Tell me about the meanest teacher you ever had...in the history of ever.  Do I sound like her?

Teacher Nerd Moment

"Wow!  Class is already over?  This project is really fun Mrs. Scroggins, and I think I learned a lot."  :)

The moments are rare, but when they happen, they are amazing.

What a difference a classroom makes...

Today was my birthday and Christmas all rolled into one. My school did some "figuring" and found me a classroom to share with another teacher. Up until this point, I've been one of those traveling teachers with everything on a cart. I've tried really hard to be organized, and think I've done an ok job, but for the most part felt like a complete spaz. I spent a large amount of time organizing myself, logging out of computers, and finding supplies to get through whatever lesson I had planned for the day. I felt like a step-child of sorts being a half time "additional" (overflow isn't a happy enough word) teacher. I've hit a few brick walls getting settled, but as of today think I may have busted free.

Oh the wonderfulness of a classroom. I got more done today than all the other days of school rolled into one. Just the ability to keep my programs open on the computer all day saved me hours of inefficiency. I have hope that I can now be the teacher I want to be, the teacher I need to be.

And as if that wasn't enough perfection in one day, Sharyn and Natalie took me to an early bday dinner at Go Go Gumbo tonight. It really doesn't get any better than this.

finding my place

So, the new job. The learning curve is high for me on this one-on a jillion different levels. Most of all the technology. Now, I like to think of myself as a techno-savy girl, but in my teaching world, I'm a fan of the overhead projector. I've dabbled in projectors, powerpoints, microscope cameras, probes, and graphing calculators, but as far as the day-to-day nuts and bolts of running my classroom, I love the overhead.

Well, there are none in my new school. Zero. They have smartboards and document cameras. Like I said, high learning curve.

Other than technology on the brain, I also have my classroom on the brain. More the fact that I don't have one; I'm one of those traveling teachers with a cart. I think I've come up with a great system for said cart, but still, I'm worried how that's all going to work out. I'm constantly in someone else's space, and just kind of wishing I had my own. But, I knew what I signed up for, so here goes...

And then, there's just getting to know new people. I've found my safe place in the back of staff meetings, but wandering around all day like I am, I'll be forced to come out of my shell. I love my shell. I'm happy in my shell, but I suppose I'll come out someday. After the first day. After I learn that smartboard, and after I figure out where I'm going. :)

Intense...there's a word.

Today was my first day back at work. Officially. My brain is in overload. My stress level is increasing, and I will I'm sure put it out here for you to read all about.

But later. I've got to clean the house right now.

Author

So, I'm guessing most of you are my Facebook friends, right? And, I just posted that I have some big news coming, right? Well, here you are...a little sneak peak.

For most of the summer, I've been talking with The Messenger to set up a Mommy Blog, complete with a link off their official site. Kristen Tribe contacted me initially with the idea, knowing my complete spastic love of blogging, scrapbooking, and writing in general. All of which are coming together for me in one little package. I've emailed and chatted with the manager, owner, and technical geek guy to get it all rolling, and tomorrow is the day they plan on advertising the new blog alongside their school supply ad. Yep, you are reading words written by the newest member of The Messenger team, and they even wrote "author" next to my name as they set everything up. AUTHOR!!! AND they are taking the time to ADVERTISE it to all of Wise County! ME! and actual AUTHOR!!!

I can't tell you how excited I've been about this. I mean true, absolute giddyness. To think that someone thinks enough of my thoughts to recommend me for something AND THEN SOMEONE ELSE ACTUALLY AGREED! It's just almost too much. My cup runneth over AGAIN. It's been almost torture to keep it all under wraps, as they asked me to, until the actual launch date. I swear, if you asked me about blogging, I might have just come unglued at the seams to tell you all the little details. Good thing you didn't ask.

So, as a result of this new adventure, this blog might take a hit. Not a big one, but I might resort to more picture posting here, and more word writing over there. It was also the main reason I went private with the blog. With my name OUT THERE as an AUTHOR and all, I thought I should try to give the 3 hoodlums that live here just a tad bit of privacy, since any little crazy act they might throw at me could end up on the "evening news." Literally.

Where is over there?

http://www.wcmessenger.com/blogs/mom/

So, go check it out. Read it, and tell your friends. Hopefully, they'll pass along the word and it will be infinitely successful. That is, until I suffer from writer's block now that there is actual PRESSURE from someone to write something.

And, who knows? Maybe we can give ol' Liberally Lean a run for his money. :)

Part-Time Teaching?

I've had tons of questions on how a part-time teaching job works. Believe it or not, they are out there-just far and few between. When I student taught, there were 2 sets of teacher that job-shared, meaning one taught the morning classes, and the other taught the afternoon classes. I've also heard of teaching one semester and job sharing with someone for the second semester. At our very own elementary school, the PE teachers job share by alternating weeks. So, in my opinion, if you luck into a situation where the need is small, or the principal is flexible, teaching can also fall into the category of "flex-time."

To be honest, I can't believe I actually found one.

My part-time gig will involve teaching 3 classes of 7th science everyday. The hours are liquid right now, but it looks like I will be on duty from 10ish to 2ish. I will also be driving about 40 minutes each way, but the half-time status will make the commute manageable. But, I'm kinda looking forward to being in the big city more regularly and having the opportunity to break back into my couponing routine at Kroger for groceries, or stopping by Target for a fancy box of wine.

I will still get a conference period, so all my planning and grading will hopefully be taken care of at school-that is, if my time-management skills are still up to par. AND, even at half-time it counts as a full year toward teacher retirement. Double-bonus. :)

A New Chapter

Growing up a Marine Corps Brat, I remember my childhood in reference to the 2-3 year time periods spent at each military base. The pattern of splitting my life into chapters was established, and I began to compartmentalize each stage of growing up with the place we lived. While most people remember actual years, teachers or popular songs, I remember houses, schools, and states. I survived being the new girl 12, 000 times, and somewhere along the way acquired a baby sister. I fell in love with dolphins, and embraced my inner flower child as the makings of my own skin. In the background, my dad's guitar was always playing Mamas Don't let your Babies Grow up to be Cowboys.


My first major life change was when dad retired, and we moved to Decatur-as civilians. No more military base, no more military brats, and no more dinners at the O'Club. Those 4 years were the longest I'd lived anywhere, and they happened to coincide with High School. I became a Decatur Eagle, and danced along with the other Eagle Dolls at halftime. I played the flute in the band, and somehow was elected President of the Business Professionals of America. I've never been quite sure how that happened, and laughed along with my friends when it did. Those friends were the backbone of my experience then, and it was remarkable to me to think I would know and see these people for many years to come. Sophomore World History prompted me to make my own religion to 5th Dimension's, Aquarius, but Pomp and Circumstance was the soundtrack I followed as I set my sites on A&M.


Aggieland was my home for the next 5 years. To this day, College Station feels more like home than any other city. Not only was it the first place I lived on my own, but it was there I made so many life decisions. Decisions like job direction, internships...oh. and husband. Big Stuff. I embraced my Texan Roots and love for outdoor living with Robert Earl Concerts and the beginning of many, many camping trips. I went out on my own to D.C. and began to grow a backbone and feel that my skin was indeed my own. Soon, Pomp and Circumstance was again the soundtrack to push me on to the next chapter, but in my head I was hearing The Road Goes on Forever and the Party Never Ends.


We graduated, packed a U-haul, moved out of the trailer in College Station and into a duplex in Coppell. I began my teaching career in 7th grade science, and for the next 5 years, I focused on making a difference in the lives of those kids. Being a teacher was who I became, and not just what I did. My pattern of being the new girl emerged twice as I changed schools, but both times I was more confident to show my Inner Flower Child Texan Aggie to the friends that would become like an extended family to me. We became homeowners and parents during these years, and as we prepared for the next move, I was singing along to The Wheels on the Bus.

Keller was home for my Stay-at-Home years. I have spent the last six years going on playdates, organizing kid-centered field trips, manufacturing little tyke crafts, masterplanning naptimes and our family schedule. I have thrown myself into the business of being a mom, and have had a love-hate relationship with that experience. Looking back on these years, tears form around my eyes because of the tender memories I have rocking my babies to sleep, watching them learn to walk, and marveling at seeing them turn into little people. Those memories are peppered with potty training frustration, sharing lessons gone wrong, and never-ending time-outs. They are tender and bittersweet memories. It was perhaps the biggest gift I have received in my entire life, and my heart swells with a gratitude I don't think I could ever really express. As we moved to Decatur, I could feel our family dynamic changing especially as our Ipods rivaled over Todd Snider's I Can't Complain, Hannah Montana's Best of Both Worlds, and the soundtrack to Cars.

Now I feel it's time for a new chapter. Yesterday, I accepted a part-time 7th grade Science position. It will be a small commute, but it seemed like God really gave me the answer I'd been searching for. The fact that the offer came on Todd's Birthday was an omen I just couldn't ingore. I'm nervous and excited at the same time. I wonder how our little family will maneuver the change, and how I will be accepted back in the real world of teaching. I'm excited to be the boss of my own classroom again, and to immerse myself into making a difference. Through all the chapters I've experienced to this point, that has been my ultimate goal. I know it sounds cliche and silly, but that inner Flower Child drives me to show the world I care. Things have truly come full circle as I hear 5th Dimension singing Aquarius, and I know in my gut it really is the dawning of a new age.

a reflection on time management

Last Friday, I finished up my 6 week long term sub gig in 6th grade Science. People kept asking me if I was super pumped about my "last day", and to be honest, it just kind of came and went without fanfare or hoopla. When I told the kids it was my last day, some jaws actually dropped at how fast the time had gone. I took that as a good sign in that I provided a somewhat nice transition between teachers, and that the kids weren't counting down the days until the "crazy sub" left. :) Some were super sweet and asked me to stay-that they would even miss me, and others, well, I know they did a little happy dance to see me go. Remember, these were 6th graders. But overall, I have to say that I really enjoyed being back in my 'element' (hehe, science nerd joke), teaching my favorite things and getting to know these kids. I enjoyed the daily adult conversation, the schedule, the creativity, and the surprises of everyday. Todd even had lunch with me a few times, and the smirk on his face when he watched me teach told me I was totally back in my groove, which was also a nice feeling.

That being said, our life had its total crazy moments while Todd and I constantly coordinated our schedules to complete the endless to-do lists. Not that our life doesn't always have crazy moments-this was just a new kind of crazy. I had to learn to let go of a clean house and a made bed. We both had to learn to problem solve mealtime with an incomplete pantry. Laundry was never ending, and free time was a new kind of luxury. I missed a kindergarten field trip, rarely worked out, and cutting my hair? Impossible.

Transitioning back into "home life" these past 2 days has been interesting. It seems that no matter which hat I'm wearing, time management is my greatest weakness. Monday morning stretched endlessly before me as I made my mental to do list. I thought I had plenty of time to sit for breakfast, play a little Star Wars with Grady, watch a little Dora, take a little inventory of my flowerbeds, and take Marley on a little walk. Before I knew it, it was 11:30, Todd was headed home for lunch, and I hadn't showered or made myself presentable in any way. I realized if I had been at school, I would have already taught 4 classes. As it stood at home, I had spastically started some laundry, made a bed or two, and put away 2 of the 4 breakfast dishes. How unproductive can a person be?? Now, because of my crazy need for productivity and order, as a SAHM, I have learned to submerge myself in an array of sanity-saving plans for both me and the kids. Because of their structure, I am quite the advocate for these playgroups and other activities, but on this particular day, ADD took over. I also have to admit though, this was not the first time a day got away from me before a brush met my hair. But, snuggling and playing with Grady for the morning-also a nice feeling.

My point? I might not have one. I just know that both sides of the coin are equally frustrating and fulfilling. I see women, moms, and even dads having the working vs. staying home discussion all the time, and most of the time I see tempers flaring. I see women getting defensive and hurt; I see moms putting their collective arms around their children and desperately hoping for wisdom as they take each step deeper into motherhood. My conclusion: there is no right answer to this debate; there is only your answer, and I wish that as women and mothers we were more accepting of that fact. I wish it felt like we were all on the same side, and no matter a person's choice in hats, we all embraced motherhood, eachother, and most importantly, ourselves with acceptance, tenderness, and understanding. I suppose that's my point-there are ups and downs to so many things in this crazy world, wouldn't it be great if we all held on to eachother for the ride?

Substitute Proposal**

"Mrs. Scroggins, are you married?"

"Yes, hence the MRS. in Mrs. Scroggins."

"Awwww, man!"

"Dude! She's like WAY older than you."


**It was like I stepped into a pre-adolescent Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. Funny Stuff.

Teachers VS. Moms

This morning, as I walked the kids into school, I noticed a very angry Mom waiting to check in with the receptionist. She was holding a paper, and talking with another mom with much animation.

One quote I caught: "Did you do this social studies review? Did you also notice that there was not one question from this review on the test? This is ridiculous."

Before I begin, let me remind you that my kids are in elementary school. Grades K-4.

I'm going out on a limb here, but I'm guessing her child did not do well on the Social Studies Test, and the review was to blame. I'm also speculating that the Mom was there to complain not only to the Principal, but also to talk with the teacher and let that teacher know just how poorly she did her job. She was going to do all of this at 8:00 in the morning, unannounced.

That teacher was probably in her classroom preparing for the day. She was stacking papers, writing the agenda on the board, running through the daily schedule in her mind-making sure all was in order before her students entered her room. She also might have been putting the finishing touches on her lesson for 25+ students. Students who come to her everyday from a different walk of life. Students who are gifted, students with special needs, students who are learning english, students who love school, student who hate school, students who are sleepy, students who are hyper, and students who are pumped about whatever she can throw at them. 25 Individuals that she caters to as a whole.

That Mom probably entered the room asking for a word with the teacher. While that teacher busied the students with an off-hand activity, she most likely stepped into the hall and had this person tell her just how terrible she was at her job. She might have gone into details of the test and the review, and how her child studied for hours and still did poorly. At that point, the teacher defended her teaching strategy, defended her test, and defended the grade. After the discussion, the mom left, feeling much better having vented her frustrations.

The teacher, however, walked back into the classroom doubting her abilities. She shrugged off the encounter, engaged herself in the lesson, and hoped she was doing only good. She looked out at the sea of faces, hoping to see her kids succeed. I don't have to speculate that. As a teacher, I know that.

Moms and Teachers should be on the same side. We both love our kids, and want them to grow into amazing adults. Our approaches might be different, but the intent is identical. I've thought of that Teacher all day, and hope she was able to overcome this morning and continue making those kids ready for our world.

Salt Mines

So, I've been subbing this week. The same school that I subbed in last year called me for a few days this week. It was nice being in that school again since it was so familiar. This time I was in a 6th grade science room. SO MUCH BETTER than a 5th grade Language Arts room. I was in my element, and all the fun parts of teaching washed over me. I talked about the metric system, and helped the students through a test...I saw a few students from last year and they came up to hug me and tell me all about their summer...Today I taught a lab and watched as the kids rubbed their brain cells together to have a very painful-problem-solving-thought. I love making them think. So fun.

I've scored another long term sub position for the spring. One of the teachers I taught with last year is having a baby and requested I be her sub. That's so nice too-to be acknowledged and wanted for a set of skills. Sometimes I forget I have skills-or rather, sometimes I wonder if I have any skills at all.

I remember Barbie saying Math is hard. She was wrong. Motherhood is.

Last Day of School

i'm always a little teary. no different today.

Young Lady

Yesterday, I was casually talking with the principal here about a possible job next year. The position is for science and social studies. He was going on and on about how I would be perfect for the position. I joked that I visited with another applicant in the office a few days ago, and she seemed perfect too! He noted that he would need to get her correctly certified before moving ahead with the interview process. Now, I'm not certified to teach social studies (nor would I ever want to be!), and so I pointed this out to him. In reply he said, "you're a bright young lady, we'd figure it out."

So, my question of the day is (other than how you "figure out" correct certification)...when do you stop being a young lady? and will I notice when that happens? and if I do notice, will it bother me? or will I finally feel like a grown up? My first year teaching, it took me all year to adjust to being "Mrs. Scroggins". Eventually, I adapted, but I also remember when some pizza guy called me Ma'am; I didn't like it, but I went on with it. So now it seems I'm a "young lady Ma'am", whatever that is.

Off Task Behavior

So the school uses MACS instead of PCs. There's a camera on the monitor and some kind of fun program to play with the pics!!! I got distracted. Totally appropriate for the last month of school I'm sure.


I felt it was necessary to laugh at myself while focusing on practicing the TEACHER LOOK.