Jon and Kate

The news of Jon and Kate making the decision to split just makes me sad. I always get sad when I hear of people breaking up, it goes against my "happily ever after" mindset. And then there's all those kids-8 kids who didn't ask to be thrust into this mess. It bums me out.

Especially when you look at how much Jon and Kate have gone through to get to this point. Before their show started, they obviously had difficulty getting pregnant to resort to fertility treatments. That in and of itself is enough to wear a person down. Having friends go through heartbreak after heartbreak, and my own slow-to-conceive experience the first time around, I understand that frustration and subsequent obsession with wanting a baby. It's tough. But for these two, that's been maybe the easiest hurdle of their married life. Imagine. 8 kids. 8 kids basically the same age. My 3 are within 5 years of each other and it gets a little insane around here. And that's just 3. Imagine coming home from the hospital with 6 infant seats. Putting 8 kids in a stroller to go to the zoo. Go anywhere with 8 kids. See how sane you are. Potty train them, and then check your sanity again. But, they made it through those high maintenance stages-the kids are 5 and 7 now. While that adds its own level of crazy, it is somehow a little easier. Time to develop herding instincts and mediation skills, but for the most part-manageable?

Those first years of their show were so raw and real. They showed Kate budgeting, constantly without make up, exhausted, and frustrated. They showed Jon leaving for work, and helping out when he came home. Yes, even then Kate was the "boss" of him, but let's be honest men-which mom out there is not the menu planner, activity coordinator, house organizer, personal shopper, and discipline manager of the house? I'm sure there are a few exceptions, but I'd bet I get a majority rules on this one. In their interviews, Jon always had his arm around Kate, and they'd joke about her bossiness. I'm even guessing she was bossy before they had a gaggle of kids. Just a guess though. But he loved her, and she loved him. I hate to see that gone.

We used to tape their show and watch it as a family. It's a little hard "these days" to find a truly family friendly show to watch with your preschool and elementary aged kids. Go ahead, turn on the TV at 7 and see what you find. Law and Order? 2 1/2 Men? Lost? Ya, um.. no. Anyway, the kids loved watching their show-seeing the fun things they did, and especially how Kate managed all the mealtimes, playtimes, bathtimes and bedtimes. They understood the magnitude of that undertaking. Somehow. I've taped it this year, but we aren't watching it as a family. The show has changed. It's not a light-hearted account of raising a super-sized family anymore; it's a heavy hearted account of the breakdown of a marriage. Of a family. I know their lives have changed since that first episode. They obviously aren't on such a tight budget anymore. Kate must have a personal shopper, trainer, and wardrobe manager. The activities are more lavish than a backyard campout and trip to the local playdo factory. Now Emeril comes over to cook dinner, or each kid gets their own personal playhouse. So, yes, things have changed. Jon and Kate have changed. Jon has obviously made some bad choices and seems to almost resent the show, and Kate obviously has anger about those choices, but in a different way seems to love what the show has done for their family. So, yes, big differences in mindsets there. But how can you look back on pictures, and hours of videos and not remember the love that brought you together? The love that made your family?

We aren't watching their show anymore, especially since their latest announcement of divorce. It seems wrong and invasive. I've heard they both said the "show must go on," but I wish it wouldn't. I wish they'd both take a step back, turn the cameras off, and look at each other. And talk. They really need to talk. They'll always have to talk, they are parents to 8 kids. I know sometimes divorce is better for the couple and subsequently the kids, and maybe Jon and Kate are just worn out after 8 years of parenting multiples. Maybe it is easier to visit each other and for family time to be a planned, videoed event. I'm not them, I don't know. No one does but Jon and Kate. oh-and their 8.